Regret or Relief?

This is a journal written on March, 7th 2011

I call this month – March – as a month full of regrets and reliefs. I think I regret more and it’s really annoying. First, I gave up my chance of travelling to France for a month. There was a writing competition in my French course and I really really wanted to participate. Nevertheless, the given topic – the outer space- was too difficult for me to be written in French. Moreover the writing had to contain 10 keywords that have been set up by the committee, and my teacher only gave me a week to write and then submit it to be corrected. My teacher, herself, seemed to be truly disappointed. She hoped, as an advance student, I would participate and I might have a bigger chance. But somehow, I also felt relieved because I don’t have to worry and leave my college for the trip will be held in the middle of March.

The second one is something kind of religious. I was chosen as a tutorial assistant (a person who teaches new college students about religious things), but I have just resigned. Why? Well, when I decided to be a tutorial assistant, I thought that experience would help me to learn how to join an organization, which would be considered in my CV. I also want to learn to serve God for His blessings through all my life. But, once more, I felt like I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready with the consequences. I need to fix and reflect on myself. I still have much to learn. I realize being a tutorial assistant is not something playful, so I stepped back. This time I relieve more, but I still feel a little guilty to God.

However, I’ve prayed to God for every decision I made in my life and I would always do. Thus, I believe that everything that has happened in my life is God’s best plan for me, so no need to regret about it!