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For me, it's different each day. One day I woke up with fear of today's pile of tasks, the other day I woke up looking forward to a meeting with my dear friends. Some days were just too gloomy to live in, some days were just too good to be true. The strange part is, I can not choose what feelings I want to feel when I wake up. However, I think we all can control it. How?
This old friend of mine, I noticed, has done this kind of gratitude challenge on Instagram. The challenge is to write 3 things every day that makes you grateful for consecutively 10 days. It strikes me that sometimes the things that make us smile are the smallest thing in life, things that we take for granted every day. So the first thing we can do to control our wake-up-feelings is to be grateful for each and every small things in life. It would be great if there are tons of big momentous things happen in your life every day, but if not, even if it's one hell of a crappy day, learn to be thankful of every breath you take, every food you eat, every drop of urine you can pee (and poop?), because we all know, how many people in this world can not experience such comfort you have.
I recently cut my foot while opening an iron door in my boarding house. Unfortunately I didn't rush it to the hospital to get stitched. The wound worsened the next day and as a result, I have to wait for 2 months for it to completely heal. In those 2 months, while getting treatment, I have to keep the wound dry and sterile. So, I become anxious (and super lazy) whenever I have to shower. Those 2 months have been agitating for me. On one of my mellowest days, I remembered I prayed to God and cried while hoping whether I am going to be able to take a "normal" shower, without having to put one of my feet up, worried that the water would splash the wound, and not getting super sad and lazy whenever the day to wash my hair came (I even had my haircut to ease myself). It is only through this experience that now I feel super grateful just to be able to shower and wash my hair "normally", thing that I have taken for granted for so long, only after it has gone that I realize how important it is to me.
Second attempt to control your feeling is, I guess, dream a little dream. No matter how small/big/easy/frightening/cheesy it is, IT IS YOUR DREAMS. No one is entitled to own it, but you. Dreams are what's keeping you up & awake, no matter how struggling each day is. Blessed are those who are living their dreams right now. Double-blessed are the ones who haven't. That means, you are given the chance to live each day to pursue your goals, to try to be better each and every day, to have that trial and error and learn from it, to get excited with every chance you have, and also to fear of what's coming next. I encourage you to go get your dreams, starting today, even if you die when you have not achieved your dreams, you are living your life pursuing a good thing. So why not?
Dreaming makes you have a hope for the future, and as my favorite quote on Shawshank Redemption once said, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
