I am 24 and I don't know what to do in my life: Am I Normal?

I woke up this morning and I am frightened. I am scared to face this day, and what scares me the most is the fact that I no longer have goals in my life. I am in a phase that people call as a mid-life crisis.

I think this is the right time for me, as an adult to really think about what I want to do in life. Last year, a senior colleague of mine, told me and several fresh graduates to write down 30 things we want to achieve in the next 10 years. And I write a lot, like being a career woman in a multinational company, get married, start a family, build a big house and a car, run a small-owned business that I can manage while taking care of my children, travel to foreign countries once a year, and many more. I think it was quite a realistic dream at that time.

However, as time goes by, and BOOM suddenly I turned 24 this year, and I am terrified that my life would not go accordingly to what I have planned before. I am not saying that I am not happy right now. I have got a job in a big company, which is a part of a world-well-known company. I have fun colleagues at work and massive career & development opportunities. My parents are happy and healthy, and though I have to work far from home, I always have the resources (money and time) to come back home. So what can go wrong with all of those?

I know, I should be giving thanks instead of complaining. And I do. And I am not complaining at all. But what I mean is, I just don't know what to do next. I don't know whether I am going to stay working in this field or not (because it is far from what I have learnt in college). I don't know if I am living my dream or I am just wasting time. I feel bored sometimes, and I have asked myself whether I would be happy doing this kind of job for like 5 years. And I though the answer is no. But again, I don't know if feeling bored would be normal for employees like me. I guess I am just being envious of those people who claimed that they love what they do, because it is their passion. 

But is working by your passion really exists, or is it just a trap, because all works eventually require endurance & patience?

Sometimes I think that I'd like to take up new skills, by joining courses and I even think about going back to college for my master degree. But again, I am lost. I don't which course or major would be enjoyable and at the same time beneficial for me and my future career. 

The second thing that makes me petrified is that I am seeing a lot of my friend getting married, being pregnant, or even getting proposed by their boyfriends. 5 years ago, I would say that I am optimistic to get married at 25-27. But hey again, I am not seeing anyone right now so I am sooo afraid that I would not be able to have my plans done. I am tired of seeing those quotes of finding the right ones. I  just can't seem to find one. And this makes me feel lost because I thought at this age, I would be busy planning about my future family.

I would really appreciate if you share you experiences here. But let me tell you this one thing: Take a deep breath. You are normal. It is okay to feel confused. And lost. And sad. And afraid.

You know, not everything will go according to our plans. The world doesn't happen that way. If you really want something, then work for it,

I think it is time for us, to plan our life out (again), and this time make it work. I am thinking hard, too right now. One of my friends who study psychologist, taught me to find what my passion is. It consists of 4 tangling circles like this, well back then he just taught me 2 of those (what you're great at & what you love). 

You may use it as your guidance, as I will too. Just one last thing to remember: It is okay to be confused and afraid. We just start figuring out what our lives can be. Keep calm and let's conquer the world!

 

The Perks of Being A Communication Student

I know I said I would blog yesterday, but I lied. Headache hit me like a rock and caused me to sleep earlier. I planned to write my review about a great book I have been reading for months, but sadly I haven't finish it, so yeah next time I PROMISE I WILL.

Today, I want to straight up the facts about communication science students. Basically these are my personal answers based on my personal experiences as a communication student. Frankly because I don't seem or heard like one.
I am writing this because I am tired of people's prejudices, perceptions, and expectations about what a communication student should be or do. I have heard comments, whether it's about communication students in general, or about me, not being "communicative" enough to be one. Well, enough for the opening, let me clear it up for you one by one:

Rumor #1: Communication is all about public speaking, means if you are a communication student, you should have a good public speaking skill 

That is up to a point, that as a communication student, we were taught about public speaking, thus we have the basic knowledge and should be able to do it well. BUT, communication is A LOT MORE than that. It is not only about speaking. To be able to communicate well, we should first LISTEN. Listening skill, I believe is harder than speaking skill. I did not get that subject for specific, but we were thought that in order to speak effectively, we should understand our partner's field of experience and frame of reference. To understand, we MUST listen.

Second, communication also simply means conveying your message. Conveying messages can be done, not only by talking or verbal expression, but also writing, drawing/ showing images, singing, and even without talking, your non verbal expression itself can convey certain messages.

In college, how to convey messages in various channels. From writing journals, news, PR releases, to social media status in order to get the publics (people who are meant to get your messages) understand and do what we want. We were also taught to create video or graphic images effectively to send the messages to the target audience.

In short, there are so many things we learnt to be a good communicator, whether it's through our languages, our intonations, our facial expressions, and our writings. So, please do not offend us, that all we can do is speak well.

Rumor #2: Why would you spend 4 years of college learning communication? You can learn it at the nearest course and master it within 4 months or less!

One of my high school friend, said this statement to me, and I haven't got the chance to explain it, so here is my answer:

It still relates to rumor #1, in order to communicate effectively, we have to learn about cross culture communication, their politics and perceptions. Communication happens in many other forms, so we learn about organizational communication, interpersonal communication, and mass media, and digital media. And, just like other science, communication have theories too. And There is A LOT, as communication methods shift quickly. You name it: Agenda-Setting Theory, Uses & Gratification Theory, Media Dependency Theory, Cultivation Theory, Spiral of Silence Theory, Diffusion Innovation Theory, Social Learning Theory, Semiotics theory, and a lot more.

Do the courses offer that theories to learn? I doubt it :)

Rumor #3: So, You Are a Communication Student? You Must Talk A Lot!

If you are a communication student and you DO talk a lot, then you may stop reading. No offense, but I dedicated this to my fellow quiet and (maybe) introvert friends out there who happen to be a communication student.

As I have stated above, communication is not just about talking and PERFORMING. Many people assume that communication students must be active, extroverts, and love to be at the center of attention. But not all of them are like that, at least, I'm not.

Given all those theories, communication student must also be able to analyze and interpret data, gather information, and create & design communication materials. You may have seen the difference between a brainy comedians and not-so-brainy ones. So, I assume you must know that there is actually a lot of skills to acquire to communicate well, not just being able to speak and perform in front of the public. To be able to communicate well, one must think well, too. For those who have both skills, congratulations, you just strongly marked your title as communication students. But those who are more the thinker-type, they still have a lot of options to do, from being the behind the scenes and create concepts, to shifting to another career (like me!).

I am a shy and quiet ones, did an internship in a global PR agency, graduated from communication science major with excellent GPA, applied for PR analyst vacancy but was over-directed to HR field. And here I am, analyzing job value, doing productivity calculation and man power planning (In fact, one of my reasons to join as communication student, is because I do not want more maths in my life). In my previous experience, I was even "forced" to develop and improve macro tools and do some codings, yet I managed to get it done, despite all of the underestimation.
One of my superior at office once said, "I admire you because, despite you learn communication in your college, but you have your logic thinking, and able to do things that weren't taught at college."
I was sure, it was a compliment, until she smiled and said, "I am not sure though, if you will be able to have a career as a PR officer, I just could not imagine it." (I was like: whaattt? Beware ma'am, your words could be my motivation and my sweetest revenge ever, HA HA).

So, my point is: To my dear fellow quiet ones, don't be discouraged, because you know that being a communication student requires brain too, not just beauty.

Why I Start Blogging Again (and perhaps you should, too!)

I checked the last time I blogged, and it was nearly 2 years ago. What an irresponsible way to maintain your readers. Apologies for all the disruption and for all the time I wasted daydreaming and wandering, and not being able to spare my time to write it down. But, I promise I will try to update my blog, regularly and properly. More properly than before, because I will write, not just my random thoughts, but also some lessons learned from my past experiences and my daily live.

To start this habit and get committed, I am writing down WHY one should blog:

1. Free-writing is considered as a therapeutic movement beside poetry and letter (source: psychcentral.com)

"Writing is “speaking to another consciousness — ‘the reader’ or another part of the self. We come to know who we really are in the present moment, " said Elizabeth Sullivan, a licensed marriage and family therapist. 

Before I decided to start blogging, whenever I feel "heavy" and pressured, I talk to myself. Don't think I am creepy because self-talking can actually improve self esteem, your body image, and stress management, and also reduce depression and the risk of self-harm and suicide, if it's done positively (Read more: http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/self-talk).

But, when I look back on it, I realize there are lots of things that I have said, that can be useful for others, or even for me, one day. And, hey I have my own blog, an internet, and a healthy mind. So, why don't I update it on my blog? Even though, it is just as simple as writing down my middle-life confusion. 

If I just talk to myself, those thoughts, ideas, and opinions will disappear in time. I feel like writing helps me to convey my feelings to the world, things that I was not be able to say out loud. Hopes that I was afraid to have, and dreams that I was longing to do. 

And hey, the world is going digitalized. People can actually make money out of blogging. Who knows, I may have that opportunities too?

2. I write, therefore I exist

I once read that writing is a prove of our existence (I googled it and people say that it is a saying from Socrates). Pramoedya Ananta Toer, Indonesian famous writer also said that, "You can get as clever as you can, but as long as you do not write, you will disappear off the society".

I am not the type of person who crave for existence recognition that bad, but that quote wakes me up. If I just keep my opinions and experiences up to myself, it will be useless. I want to give back to society by writing something useful, even though I will not be bothered if I have a very minimum number of readers. As I have stated in reason number one, at least my own free-writing will be useful for me. 

4. Writing As A Skill: Practice Makes Perfect

Writing is a very important you should acquire in workplace. From writing your CV to communicating effectively via emails & text messages, a good writing skill can distinguish you from your colleagues and buy you a career ladder (Read more at http://executivesecretary.com/why-good-writing-skills-are-important-in-todays-workplace-and-tips-for-developing-them/)

Sadly, I found that not many people have effective writing skills. Most of them, are better when it comes to explaining directly face-to-face, but lack the ability to write their thoughts in a form of a report or an analytical text.

So, practice makes perfect. By writing regularly in this blog, I hope it will improve my writing skill that I have ignored for quite a long time (it is quite ironic since I learnt communication science in university that included a lot of writing essays), and also my English skill. Forgive me, if I will mostly write it in English because somehow I convey my feelings more generously in English.

I can only think of that, but I hope it is enough to maintain my commitment in writing. As tomorrow is the start of a long public holiday, I'll see you tomorrow, then. Just one last quote before the night ends:

Anne Frank once said, "I can shake off everything as I write, my sorrow is disappear, my courage is reborn." Good night, and happy writing, peeps!

Let It Go

"Let It Go" is probably the most popular movie soundtrack recently, but in this post, I'm not going to discuss about the song or the movie. I will write about the word "Let It Go" literally because that's the word that has crossed my mind this early morning,

"Letting go is one of the greatest lessons in my life". When I woke up this morning, I woke up with some kind of regrets. Regrets of why I have not done things that should have been done long time ago. Regrets of being beaten and lost in "a competition" and not doing anything about it. I do not know why those kinds of feeling come up to the surface now, but I feel really bad about it, like having a burden in my heart.

What makes regretting worse is that you can not do anything to fix your mistakes, because they already happened in the past. I realize it too and it makes me angry, sad, and disappointed with myself. Then I remember the wise words quote "everything happens for a reason". So I am wondering, what kind of reason can explain those unfortunate events? What is it that God wants to show me through things happened to me? Because I believe that God has a reason for letting those things happened. I trully believe that, if not, what else should I believe?

However, letting go is not that easy. I keep reminding myself to be grateful for what I've had. I know I will still think about it for 2-3 days ahead, but I am sure that next week I will be okay and I will have forgotten about it. Just like another wise man says, "Life is too precious to regret things that will never come back". So, I will definitely learn from those experiences, although it will hurt me a little even to remember it, and use those lessons as my strength to face my future. The past can not be changed, but we can learn from it to shape our better future.So, I think it's time for me to move on and learn to forgive and forget.

Sebuah Ungkapan Syukur

Tak ada kata lain yang harus saya tulis selain syukur. Ya, saat ini saya sedang merenung dan menyadari betapa saya harus bersyukur atas kehidupan ini. Betapa tidak? Saya diberkahi Tuhan kesehatan badan dan jiwa, dukungan keluarga dan sahabat yang luar biasa, bakat dan talenta, serta kesempatan untuk mengenyam pendidikan. Puji syukur, selama ini saya belum pernah merasa hidup berkekurangan. Meskipun ada saat-saat dimana kedua orang tua saya mengeluh dan sempat harus meminjam sana-sini, namun saya tetap bersyukur karena Tuhan selalu mencukupkan segalanya.

Orang bilang kita harus melihat ke bawah, bukan ke atas. Saya kira itu ada benarnya. Jika kita selalu melihat ke atas, kita tidak akan pernah merasa puas dan selalu menginginkan yang lebih. Tetapi bila kita melihat ke bawah, kita akan belajar bersyukur. Seperti yang saya renungkan saat ini. Ketika saya melihat teman atau saudara yang memiliki nasib kurang beruntung, saya belajar bersyukur bahwa saya diberi kesempatan yang lebih baik dari mereka. Saya juga belajar untuk berempati dan mendoakan mereka, karena saya percaya roda kehidupan berputar, dan ketidakberuntungan itu dapat terjadi pada siapa saja, termasuk saya. Oleh karenanya, setiap kali saya mengalami kesulitan, yang kadang membuat saya mengeluh dan merasa tidak adil, saya teringat mereka yang lebih susah dan menderita dibandingkan saya. Dengan demikian, saya lagi-lagi belajar menerima keadaan namun tetap berusaha yang terbaik sembari berdoa mohon kekuatan pada Tuhan, tentunya dengan penuh rasa syukur.

Saya percaya kesulitan itu ada, sebagai bentuk ujian, dan bentuk pengharapan kita pada Sang Pencipta. Maka, dalam keadaan apapun saya belajar bersyukur, termasuk saat mendapatkan kesulitan. Karena itulah tanda kita masih hidup, masih sehat dan kuat, dan masih mampu berusaha untuk menyelesaikan tantangan kehidupan itu.

Mengalah Bukan Berarti Kalah

"Jadi kakak itu harus mengalah". Sudah berulang kali saya mendengar kalimat itu dari kedua orang tua saya setiap kali saya beradu mulut dengan adik. Saya dan adik yang terpaut jarak 4 tahun, memang cukup sering berselisih paham. Apalagi kami berdua sama-sama perempuan yang memiliki sifat keras kepala dan tidak mau mengalah. Kalau pertengkaran kami mulai sengit, pasti saya sebagai kakak yang disuruh mengalah dan tak jarang diomeli karena tidak bisa bersikap dewasa. Saya sendiri seringkali protes karena merasa diri saya tidak salah. Namun, karena volume suara kami berdua sudah mencapai oktaf tertinggi, biasanya orang tua kami yang akan memotong argumen kami dan memarahi kami berdua tanpa peduli siapa yang salah.

Akhirnya saya sadar bahwa mengalah bukan berarti saya kalah. Dengan usia yang semakin dewasa dan matang, saya sadar bertengkar itu tidak ada gunanya. Faktanya, itu hanya membuat kedua orang tua saya ikut marah dan sedih. Saya sendiri juga sudah capai bertengkar dan ingin mendapatkan suasana damai. Alhasil, akhir-akhir ini jika adik saya mulai mengeluarkan nada tinggi, saya hanya menjawab sekenanya dan memilih masuk ke kamar untuk menghindari pertengkaran. Seringkali saya hanya diam dan tersenyum balik. Nampaknya usaha itu berhasil, karena belakangan ini hubungan saya dan adik makin romantis hehehehe....

Semoga saja, perlahan tapi pasti, kami berdua bisa menjadi kakak beradik yang kompak dan saling mendukung. Bagaimanapun juga adik saya adalah satu-satunya saudara yang saya miliki. Saya juga berharap agar apapun yang terjadi di antara kami saat dewasa nanti, kami tetap akan menjalin hubungan baik, dan selalu ada di sisi satu sama lain kapanpun dibutuhkan.

Regret Nothing, Thankful for Everything

"Tidak ada hidup yang sia-sia". Kira-kira itulah penggalan pesan yang dapat saya ambil dari buku yang baru saya baca pagi ini. Judulnya "Five People You Meet in Heaven" karangan Mitch Albom. Saya memang suka membaca buku-buku bertemakan inspirasi, baik fiksi maupun non fiksi. Selain Mitch Albom, pengarang favorit saya yang lain ialah Paulo Coelho.

Meski menceritakan mengenai kisah perjalanan seseorang yang telah meninggal, namun buku tersebut banyak mengajarkan saya tentang arti kehidupan. Kita seringkali hanya melihat kehidupan dari satu sisi saja. Tak jarang kita merasa kecewa, sedih, dan tidak puas dengan hidup yang kita jalani, tanpa menyadari betapa hidup kita ini sangat berharga. Setiap hal yang terjadi dalam hidup kita memiliki tujuan tertentu yang telah digariskan oleh Yang Maha Pencipta. Setiap tindakan yang kita ambil membawa dampak bagi kehidupan kita dan orang lain. Mungkin dampak itu negatif, mungkin juga positif. Terkadang kita terlalu lama menyesali dampak negatif dari perbuatan kita, hingga kita lupa bahwa kita memiliki kesempatan lain untuk berbuat lebih baik dari sebelumnya. Saya sendiripun pernah mengalaminya.

Percayalah bahwa kita hidup di dunia ini bukan suatu kebetulan. Kehadiran kita di dunia ini indah, sesuai rencana Sang Pencipta. Setujukan Anda dengan pendapat saya? :)